I’m not about to claim that I am Grey’s Anatomy’s biggest fan but it’s definitely a thing for me. On Cristina’s last episode in season 10, not only did I cry myself a river, I wrote myself a letter. I promised myself that I would be THAT woman. The second time I watched that episode was the same day that Shonda Rhimes won a Black Girls Rock Influencer ( I think) award. So I read that letter again.
I was in high school when I started watching Grey’s, I only jumped on that train in season 5 or 6 and I was okay with it. It’s not too difficult to catch on when you get on board Grey-Sloan Memorial- or maybe Seattle Grace at the time. But because of where the story was when I started watching, I never understood why Meredith was the main character and not Cristina.
Last year I met someone on Facebook who became a really good friend when I was venting about the episode where Derek dies. After learning that I had not started with Grey’s from the very beginning, he insisted that I started from scratch and I am so grateful. I understand Meredith’s strength and stoic nature, why Cristina was so sure about her choice to not have a family.
I’ve cried over a lot of episodes over the years, as I’m sure any fan could imagine with all those deaths and people leaving. But I’d like to point out a few recent episodes that stood out for me since the season 10 finale.
Season 12, episode 9 ( I didn’t have to look that up. One of those I’ll never forget I guess). This is when Meredith was attacked by a patient. She was alone in the room with him, blinds drawn and doors closed, no matter how many people were just outside that door, and there were plenty, no one could get to her because no one knew… because the door was shut and the blinds were drawn. This was the lesson Is learned from this particular episode the first time I watched it. I was/ sorta still am the person that keeps the doors shut, maybe I’ll crack a open a window, but I’ll likely still have the blinds drawn. No one checks in because it’s normal for a functioning trauma room ( me) to look like that.
The second time I watched that episode, the lesson I learned was almost the exact opposite. After Meredith is found and treated, her jaw is wired shut. She can’t speak but she hears everything. Before that, she couldn’t hear either but she saw. By the time she came to, she knew more about everyone’s life than most of them knew about each other because when we can see, hear and speak, we don’t. We can, but we don’t.
The two episodes I’m about to list are from season 14, April’s crisis of faith. I had other feelings and opinions when I first read and heard about these episodes. Getting to watch them only came during my own faith crisis ( maybe I’ll go into further detail in another post). Watching April having to see ruins of her decision to walk out on Matthew for Jackson, him being happily married now to a woman who reminds another doctor of April while she’s now divorced. I say “ruins and not complete nothingness because she has Harriet. After being around tragedy in Jordan, losing her son and constantly dealing with death she stops “Jobing” and she just can’t keep the faith anymore. Sight eventually outweighs faith and this is her crisis… mine, and that of many other Christians every now and then.
In episode 15, the most unlikely person seems to be the only one able to climb through the rubble, sort the broken pieces and make a remodel possible. That neurosurgeon that fixed Amelia. Their dialogue was such a “yes! That!” moment for me.
Him: ” God is dead.”
Her: ” No. I just wish he was.”
This is exactly what I was feeling! I’d know Him too long to decide now that He wasn’t real, I knew He was… just not to me and that hurt!
Him again: ” I realised that God didn’t leave me and I didn’t leave Him. We just got into an argument.”
It soothed me to know that it isn’t a big deal to Him, it’s only an argument,we’ll be okay. As long as I’m willing of course and He’s still there.
I hate Grey’s sometimes, but man I love it too. Totally a gray for me. One of the greatest lessons learned for me is the importance of knowing the whole story, they say it’s not how you start but how you finish, but the beginning definitely matters. It’s part of the whole story. The frame of the puzzle is part of the picture. Watching the whole thing did more that enhance the story for me, it did so for each character too, it became whole. Not my version of whole, the real version.
And they say the revolution won’t be televised… psshh.
Peace and Love Always,
Tshepiso Molakeng
Quality Growth International
Quality Growth International 