Yesterday I traveled with my younger brother to visit my grandma, who lives 1 hr 30 minutes away from us. During our travel, my brother and I had a long chat about confidence and the ability to accomplish set goals and dreams.
While chatting to him, I realised a few things about confidence that a lot of people, including myself, normally overlook. In many instances, we are made to believe that confidence is only intrinsic – intrinsic, meaning it comes from within. And this is true to some extent, because how you see yourself contributes, in a big way, to how you ultimately act.
Although I do believe that confidence does come from within – knowing your purpose, understanding who you are, and knowing what you are good at – I also believe that there are certain extrinsic factors (extrinsic meaning, factors coming from the outside) that contribute immensely to one having Self-Confidence.
- Acting on your daily plans, no matter how small
Setting achievable tasks and goals, and then actually acting on them breeds confidence. With each task that one achieves, they are confident to work on their next task and this makes them feel good about themselves. The simple act of making up your bed first thing in the morning sets a routine of starting and finishing other tasks during the day. For days that are not so good of a good day, this makes you feel as if you have achieved something already (making your bed up).
- Spending time with confident people
Cowardice is contagious, but so is courage, and so is confidence. Confidence will eventually rub off on you, if you find yourself constantly interacting with people who are confident. Association is very important, and carefully choosing your associations based on wanting to learn to be confident will help you.
- Knowing that confidence is not a competition
A confident person is not really someone who walks into a room and starts to feel like they are doing better than everyone else. Confidence is knowing that you are not better than everyone else, and that no one is better than you – it’s not a competition. A confident person is sure of who they are irrespective of what others might say or think – they know that being confident doesn’t necessarily mean being domineering
- Confidence comes from not neglecting to do the small things
It’s important to understand that small things eventually become big things if we don’t work on them while they are still small. If someone neglects to exercise at least 15-20 minutes daily, they will find it difficult to do so when they are ill and are forced to exercised. Exercising daily, and having good health is a sure way to have a boost in confidence.
- Excelling at a skill or job produces confidence
Knowing that there is a skill that you know you are good at, and others rely on you for that skill will produce confidence. You’ve got to place yourself in a position where if someone was to think of you, they will immediately know what skill sets you apart from everyone else. Your skill will most likely be unique to you, and that will set you apart from everyone else, that’s what gives you confidence – being you.
- Gaining the respect of your peers, superiors, leader, spouse, children etc
Being respected by the people around you will give you confidence. You might think that this is untrue, but we usually are affected by the level of respect we receive from peers, co-workers, employers, and mentors. If all the people we interact with daily had no genuine respect for us, this would dent our confidence. Therefore, it is important to build genuine relationship, excel at what we do, have and display a life of integrity, so that we can continue to have the respect and adoration of the people who interact with us. This breeds confidence.
Do you think I covered everything with regards to extrinsic confidence? Please tell me what your thoughts are in the comment section.
I wish you success.
CEO, Quality Growth International